Here is a video I put together to help promote my friend Dan Manfredini’s board game Venture Forth. I wrote the script, had Marc Majcher record the voice over and then I composited original artwork from the game. I think it turned out pretty well for something turned around within several hours.
Someone Should Be With Me Here
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a crippling muscle cramp chewing into my leg. I think, “I wish someone was here to help me. I wish someone could massage the pain out.” Or, pain aside, I want to reach out and find someone next to me in the darkness and not care about anything else that may have happened to the world while we slept.
Sometimes I cough so hard that it triggers my gag reflex and I throw up a little bit, but I wasn’t expecting it, so it sprays out over my hand in a dripping mess. I think “I’m glad there is no one else here to see this. Who would want to witness this horrible display? No one.” No one would tolerate how I choose to do my laundry or re-use my dishes or not shower until later.
Hunter S. Thompson spoke of knowing the “dead-end loneliness of a man who makes his own rules.” I’ve been alone for going on seven years now. In that time I have honed the skills needed to be on my own. Certain habits and practices are deeply ingrained. I know myself and what I want better than I ever have. It is like I started out as a simple puzzle piece with rounded edges, with many potential compatibilities. But then I found myself with years of introspection to while away and antsy hands that set themselves to whittling complex patterns along the edges of the piece.
Now no one fits. Or maybe only one fits. Or the ones that might fit aren’t interested in fitting.
I fall in love with rounded edges, my heart forgetting that I myself haven’t had them in quite some time.
Set My Mind in Motion
The main board disc is essentially complete. Since I had graphics for all of the board spaces, it was a no brainer to put together the Spice Deck. The original version has the region completely isolated. I decided to highlight the space where the spice blow occurs and desaturating the spaces around it, so you could see where it was contextually.
I still need to come up with a good sandworm image. I’m looking for a good 3D model, but I might end up trying to draw one. Maybe I can have Nick draw one.
My mind has just been a flood of ideas lately, all potential projects. I’m trying to give everything the nurturing it requires at its current state while still focusing on things in active development, like the Dune board.
Speaking of nurturing, I finally got around to buying some potting soil to fill up the planter I built from an old cabinet and some bricks. I went to the local nursery, ready to pick out tomato and pepper plants only to find out there had been a rush on tomatoes as it had become hot much earlier this year. Now it was no use trying to plant tomatoes or green peppers until the fall. I did come away with a basil plant and a chocolate mint plant (yes, that is a real thing).
I also set up a timed sprinkler in the front yard to begin resuscitating the lawn. It feels really good to go outside and putter about, surveying the land, making plans.
42 Again
I had always considered Richard Dawkins to be kind of an adversary, someone who came along to take all the fun out of everything. But I was watching a documentary a few weeks ago and Dawkins appeared and said something that changed my mind. It wasn’t what he said or that it was Richard Dawkins. It was a catalyst that made me go “Oh, wait” and then everything snapped into place.
There’s a scene in one of the Hitchhiker’s books where a young woman suddenly has an idea for world peace that just might work, but the Vogons destroy Earth before she can tell anyone. That’s how I felt. In this case, the Vogons were represented by the realization that I had my answer, not The Answer. Again, language is the problem. Whatever I try to explain will just become your interpretation and not my answer. It only means something to me. It is useless to anyone else.
I realized that the questions I had been asking weren’t the wrong questions. But the real question was “Why am I asking this?” And that’s not really the most accurate way to put it. Perhaps I should say “What mechanism must exist to make it possible that I can formulate this idea?” My questions were already biased because they were American questions, human questions. What if I asked inhuman questions? What if I tried to peer through a crack at the edge of my vision? What I saw was so simple that it sounds ridiculous to even say. But it was also horrific to my sensibilities, leading to statements that I know I cannot utter in this society.
These insights haven’t made anything “better” for me. I feel a weird peace about certain things, but I don’t feel settled. I don’t think I am meant to.
Scattershot
Come with me on a wander through some items related only by the virtue that they sprang from my head.
I awoke from a dream in which I was in a relationship with Claudia Black. Or maybe it was her character Vala Mal Doran. I don’t have a Claudia Black thing going on, but I had been watching the last season of Stargate SG-1 recently. It was one of those dreams with compressed time and a lot of ground was covered. In the end things didn’t work out and we were both unhappy. I woke up feeling genuinely down about the whole thing. I tried to find a message in it. Maybe she reminds me of someone.
—
I think I have too many apps on my iPad. Like over 150. I had this feeling the other day like I was at a bar staring down a trail of shot glasses that ended at my hand, like I might have a problem. If something I might like is 99 cents, I buy it without question, archiving it for later. With physical objects and media, I keep it spartan, but with the digital I am a pack rat. If there were a show called CyberHoarders, I would be on it. I have a little black box with a million worlds on it.
—
Since I don’t track the passage of time well, I have a suite of reminders on my phone and computer which tell me when to do things. Routines can be good right? But sometimes they seem like fences or mile markers. Hedges around my life or notches measuring the remainder of it.
Here is what I can’t forget to do:
1. Clean out the litter box (every 3 days)
2. Administer nasal sprays (twice a day, 1 dose followed by another 30 minutes later)
3. Clean out the Roomba (twice a week)
4. Take a 1 minute exercise break (every hour)
5. Go to Boards ‘n Brews (every Tuesday night)
6. Write a blog post (every Saturday)
I guess that isn’t too bad. I wish it also said 7. Make-out session (every…week?)
—
As I was doing some prep work for the components for the Dune game, I realized something that could be designed differently. The original game has a disc for each of the characters. Why a disc? So it can fit in the disc-shaped slot in the combat wheel. But why do it that way? Why not just put them on a card instead? You can put your card face down to keep it secret. And why do you even need this huge combat wheel? Why not a card-sized wheel like the life counters in Magic? So now you can just hold a hand of cards: your leader, your Treachery cards, and your combat wheel card. There is something neat about the discs and putting them in that slot, but when you take a step back it is really a bit convoluted and unnecessary.
The Genesis Effect
Perhaps my analog to having children is creating projects. The most satisfying projects are the ones that become larger than myself, things with a life of their own. I’m not entirely sure why that is. Maybe I like being able to diffuse the success of something over a group of people because accepting it myself is too overwhelming.
It’s like that with Boards ‘N Brews, a weekly board game meetup I started two years ago. My original thought was to play some of the games I owned that never seemed to make it to the table. I figured I could find four or five other people who might want to meet twice a month and play games. Fast forward to today where there are now 40-50 regular members, several other organizers, and several games scheduled every week at a packed venue. Sometimes I walk in to the Rockin’ Tomato and see all those people and think that I am somehow responsible for what is happening. But I try not to think about it too much. I’m just happy that it exists.
I like to bring ideas to life, set things in motion and then let them go. While I like to provide creative direction, I don’t really like being “in charge” of anything or anyone. A lot of the time nothing will happen unless someone decides to take action and sometimes that someone is me. But that is different from wanting to control everything for control’s sake. I’d rather have an idea and then find all the right people to make it happen and have someone else manage it.
In an ideal world, I’d be a facilitator for dreams, mine and other people’s. I’d nurture the most promising ideas and help cultivate an environment for them to grow in. And then I’d let them be what they are going to be. If you see any job postings like that on Craig’s List, be sure to let me know.
Voldemort Does Not Have These Problems
I bet having an almost nonexistent snake nose has its advantages. Probably not as many sinus issues.
I finally went in to an allergist the other day to say if I might have a food or environment allergy. After describing my symptoms, he said that although the $750 allergy test might reveal some sensitivities, he didn’t think my problem was allergy related. He described an affliction called non-allergic rhinitis and it fit pretty much with what I was experiencing. It is a mysterious ailment with allergy-like symptoms but unknown causes. Unfortunately, there is no cure. There is a treatment, however.
He prescribed some inexpensive nasal sprays to try for a few months. I already feel the difference, though they have some side effects like a bad taste in my mouth and dryness. One of the sprays smells like flowers. The doctor said I would probably need to use the sprays forever. I’ve also started using a neti pot, which helps.
In attempting to ease my suffering, some other issues have come to light. Now that my nasal passages are more clear, I’ve realized that the feeling of congestion is caused by my deviated septum. At some point I will probably get septoplasty and have that corrected so I can breathe through both nostrils more easily.
I’ve also been getting tonsil stones which are these bits of white calcified junk stuck to the back of my throat. The drainage in my throat was probably contributing to the tonsil stones, but so has caffeine, dairy products and bread. Hopefully the combination of the nasal sprays, neti pot and making some dietary adjustments will make the stones go away. It is either that or have my tonsils removed.
The Gallery
I’m in Seattle this weekend, so no time for a big post. I’m in the process of consolidating and revamping my network of sites. My personal page has always had a gallery of my artwork and this iteration is no exception. This time I have reached way back into the vaults and pulled out some really old stuff to join the more recent works.
By default, the page loads all of the artwork, but you can browse by category as well. Click on a thumbnail to get a larger version.
Logjam
Every once in a while I’ll get an idea in my head and it jumps up and down, bullying the other ideas and becomes a general nuisance until I give it my attention. I can feel other stories and projects behind the idea, but I can’t get to them until I address the one at the fore. Sometimes it is just a matter of writing down some notes while other times I need to follow it through to completion.
A few months ago, the idea that got in the way was Sküb, a despicable storytelling game featuring a bad, bad dog. Basically a re-imagining of Scooby Doo and the gang as a hellhound and his thralls. It was evil and wrong and I hope you’ll play it some day. I got enough of it down to clear the way for other things.
The newest logjam is the result of an idea for a music video. Completely impractical and expensive. I’ll at least need to storyboard it and sketch out the ridiculous device required for it to work. Then I can see what’s next.
Brief Updates:
I had a powwow with Cory, an expert designer, someone capable of translating ideas into functioning objects. I had only wispy concepts of how I thought the board for the Dune game could be constructed. He had names for all of the parts required. I insisted that he illustrate and write them all down for future reference. Incidentally, he is also constructing a custom Dune set, though with more ambitious production values.
The Stork is at the printer. The printer erred of the side of caution and sent me a new proof with a different color calibration. I found it even more accurate than the previous iteration.
The frame for my movie screen is complete. I replaced the generic lamp with a more steampunky version. I still need to re-skin the small couch and the chairs to match the decor. Also, I envision a curtain dividing the living room and the dining nook.
I have re-purposed a cabinet and some random bricks into a backyard garden. I still need dirt and, well, something to plant. Tomatoes, I think. They are pretty forgiving.
That is all for now.
So many things went missing that day
A few weeks ago I met someone who was interested in doing a collaborative photo project. We met at a mostly deserted train station and took photos of things that interested us. My idea was that we’d look at what we had shot and a narrative would unfold. Continue reading →